I have always believed that I could have it all. I still do. For me, it was important that my life should reflect my ambition, determination and drive.
- I knew that I wanted to know what my kids would look like.
- I knew that I wanted to run my own company.
- I knew that I wanted to be in control of my own destiny.
These were all realities for me that were going to come to pass. For me, that was my All. For me, all was never about getting to the point of perfection. Life is not perfect, so how can All be perfect. It is about living who you are created to be.
So today, the truth is that I am living within my journey of achieving my All and it is indeed happening.
- I have two handsome sons.
- I have created my own company.
- Most importantly I believe that I am heading in the direction of the reason for my being, – my destiny, and it is on this topic I want to expand.
First, let me just make my position very clear, I believe that all women can have it All, it just depends what All is.
It is funny, as I entered the world of employment; the question ‘Can a woman really have it all?’ was a repeated statement, shared by both men and women. It seemed to be used as a whip to control women who stepped out of the eco-system within which they would currently exist; be-it work, home life or social life. If your ambitions were not in sync with your present surroundings, the question would arise repeatedly.
When it would happen to me, it would strike a chord within me. I would always get an allergic reaction to that question. In the pit of my stomach, there would be rage bubbling within. Now, in retrospect, I realise that I was reacting to a feeling of being controlled. However, the confident, educated woman I am would respond at the time with choices that were not based on what I considered to be my authentic truth.
As I chose to have a job or career, I, like so many of my peers, felt compelled to align myself to a single side. It felt that it was imperative that I selected and commit to that single route. If not, I would be judged as selfish or maybe a bit deluded. So if you are a mother, and you had a job, motherhood had to be your primary focus. If however, you chose your career, then boarding school and neglected children, was your preference.
Therefore, as time went on, and sometimes I had to choose between the school play and a work meeting, I would be left feeling guilty by whatever choice I made. The whispering question of ‘can you have it all?’ always loomed close, like a little devil on my shoulder.
However, one day I was speaking to my son, (14 at the time) and was showing him a spider graph of my plans for my company and I asked his opinion on my plans. I then asked him, does he think I could make this work.
He replied ‘you are the most determined person I know, if anyone can make this happen you can’. Of course, a moment like that would fill most people with ‘pride’ and confidence. He then went on to say ‘you know what; I think it is important for everyone to do what you are doing’.
? – I asked
“Live out what they are created to do. You have to be yourself in life to be of maximum benefit to the world, other people and fulfil what you are created to be”.
I of course was in awe of such foresight. However, it was at that very moment I realised, that of course you can have it All, if you are being true to yourself. You can be the complete woman …… Only you and your creator know what your destiny looks like and it is in choosing and acknowledging that you are created to be your fullest self, which then leads you into a different realm of being.
The main thing to say, that not all women are universally the same and therefore, one size does not fit all. I cannot put up a picture to depict a woman having it All.
As a woman who knows my own destiny, I personally have decided that my All is not dictated by what the stereotypical role of a 21st-century woman should be.
I do think however, to get to the point of achieving your All you have to follow a few simple principles:
- Do not take to heart what other people are thinking about your choices. If they are thinking about you, they are distracted from their own path.
- Do not compare your path with another person’s journey. Your destiny is yours. (Lord knows, I would love to have the talent of the late Whitney Houston, but that was not to be).
- Take steps to help you achieve anything (study, visualise, network ..) it may not always be easy, but it is achievable.
- Believe unwaveringly in whom you are and you will attract like-minded people who will help you along your journey.
- Remember, All for you is not the same All for everyone else. So do not compare and contrast to other people.
- Accept that choosing to live your All is not perfect, but it is 100% honest
Finally, when you choose to live your All not everyone has to like it or even go along with your vision. In fact, I would go as far as saying that most women decide not to travel that route because they feel that it is too difficult and will alienate too many people. Maybe that is true. But surely, those that really support you, will cheer you on. However, I personally am prepared to travel my route to having it All, because being me is the only person I should be.
Written by Nicola – Founder of FP Comms
FP Comms is a marketing company that supports people to communicate bravely and with confidence. The company is also the creator of I AM.
I AM is a concept designed to help people manifest their plans, goals and aspirations through effective marketing and communication.
Although we have a strong focus on business, the I AM concept is about you realising your fullest potential and achieving your vision. Regardless of your age, it is never too early or too late to start living in the way you were created to be – (because after all, that is why you were created).
So, whether you’re looking to turn an innovative idea into an income or aiming to carve out your own career if you have a vision, we’re here to help you fulfil it.
I AM’s ambition is to create an environment which allows you the opportunity to understand the power or your: Choices, Vision, Passion and Value and appreciates how important it is to the world that you realise your vision.
Our work is to help you knock down the communication barriers and help you connect with your wider, global audience.